The Volturi Diaries
by iFellOffMars
Summary: Collection of diary entries of the Volturi.
1. Entry One: Aro Volturi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. **

**If you didn't know that you are a disgrace to all twilight fans X_X**

**Note:I'm not sure if someone else has already done this with the Volturi...if you have, I'm sorry!  
**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry One: Aro Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**Today was the 4,187, 227 day of my life. So I decided to celebrate with my lovely family.**

**I thought it would be nice to buy a cake, so I went to the nearest bakery.**

**It smelled so delicious and sweet, it was the start of a perfect day.**

**Until the baker came to close to be and I killed her.**

**She smelled so good though.**

**So after the whole fiasco I went back to my wonderful coven.**

**Caius was in a horrible mood, he always asks why I act so joyfully.**

**So I had to tell him we must celebrate the day!**

**Marcus said it would be interesting.**

**So once the sun set everybody gathered around to eat cake.**

**Diary, I know we vampires cannot eat cake, but we must try anyway.**

**So I ate a piece of cake.**

**Caius took a piece but threw it at Felix.**

**Marcus refused to touch his cake.**

**Jane and Alec ate some because I told them I'd kill them if the didn't.**

**They are such wonderful kids.**

**Gianna ended up eating most of the cake though, since she was the only one who could taste it.**

**She said it was vanilla.**

**I can't remember what vanilla taste like.**

**Sincerely,**

**Aro Volturi**


	2. Entry One: Caius Volturi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Or the Volturi. Or Stephenie Meyer**

**Note: I know Volturi is not their last name, but it makes everything easier.**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry One: Caius Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**Aro was being a truly happy idiot today. He insisted we must celebrate the day.**

**I can't even remember why, maybe I should listen to him more.**

**We all sat down to eat cake.**

**Yes, **_**cake**_**.**

**He comes up with a lot of stupid ideas.**

**I didn't want to hear him babble on so I just took some.**

**I ended throwing it at Felix though.**

**We eventually gave the rest to Gianna, she said it was an honor to receive such a wonderful gift.**

**Is she insane?**

**I had to endure another four hours before the day ended.**

**Do you have any idea of how horrible it is when Aro is in a gay mood?**

**Imagine having to spend the afternoon with Mr. Rogers from that little kid show.**

**Aro thought it would be a good idea to let Jane and Heidi sing a song.**

**Happy 4,187, 227 Day is what he called it.**

**It will be stuck in my head for the next ****millenia. **

**Damn him.**

**The Dead Vampire,**

**Caius Volturi**


	3. Entry One: Marcus Volturi

**Disclaimer: Alice Cullen knows what I'm going to write here.**

**Note: There is no note. I saw some other diary entry stories.**

**But they were for fruits basket, so I'm not sure if anyone did this with Twilight.**

**They probably have though. **

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry One: Marcus Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**As always, I have nothing to say.**

**My mouth has become empty of words.**

**I have said all that I need to over the years.**

**So I shall say no more.**

**Your only friend,**

**Marcus Volturi**


	4. Entry One: Jane Volturi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Note: I hope you enjoy this.....**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry One: Jane Volturi**

**Deary Diary Number 873,**

**I'm sorry I keep destroying my diaries....**

**Not really, I just get so angry I tear them to pieces.**

**I think there might be something wrong with Master Aro.**

**He keeps acting really odd.**

**I mean, he is always acting odd but he did something really odd today.**

**He bought a cake.**

**We are vampires.**

**We do not eat cake.**

**We drink blood.**

**We rip apart human flesh.**

**We **_**do not**_** eat a piece of cake.**

**I ate some though,**

**I ate the plain tasting desert.**

**I feel like I have committed a horrible sin.**

**It was an order.**

**Alec did it too though, so if we will burn in the fiery pits of hell,**

**we will burn together.**

**The Twin,**

**Jane Volturi**


	5. Entry One: Alec Volturi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight....I already told you this!**

**AAHHHHHHHH!**

**Note: Blah blah blah. If you do not like the Volturi, how dare you read this!**

**This isn't about Edward and Bella, this is about the **_**Volturi**_**.**

**Go elsewhere to read about your vegetarian Cullens.**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry One: Alec Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**Sigh.**

**Another day.**

**Aro made us celebrate the day, I'm not sure why.**

**I just agreed to eat cake.**

**I'm not sure why humans enjoy it so much.**

**It doesn't even look appetizing.**

**Aro said it was for a good cause....**

**and I did it because I was ordered too.**

**Jane was in a **_**really**_** bad mood today.**

**It was probably due to lack of blood drinking.**

**I worry about her a lot.**

**We may be a few hundred years old,**

**but she's still a kid in human years.**

**Maybe she needs a doll or something girly.**

**She probably won't like those kind of things.**

**She will probably throw the doll at my face.**

**But she needs to find the little girl inside her.**

**The Other Twin,**

**Alec Volturi**


	6. Entry Two: Aro Volturi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, if I did it would be mainly focused on the Volturi**

**Note: If Edward is your favorite character Aro has banned you from reading this!**

**Aro: Yes, I have banned thou from reading this fanfiction if you love Edward Cullen more than me!**

**Me: I told you so......**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Two: Aro Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**I am not happy diary, not happy at all.**

**It was raining today.**

**The rain made me think of Forks.**

**So I decided to go visit my dearest Cullens.**

**I flew all the way there on the first flight possible!**

**Of course, Caius and Marcus accompanied me.**

**The flight was unbreable.**

**I had to survive two others with so many humans!**

**I wanted to kill them all.**

**Diary, am I really such a monster for that wish?**

**Am I really such a horrible person for wanting to rip out their throats?**

**I thought so....**

**Caius makes it seem so nice. He says it puts them out of their misery.**

**When we got to Forks Bella was there.**

**She was with Edward.**

**Oh, how I wish Edward was with me and not her!**

**We could take over the world together!**

**We could protect the world from other blood thirsty vampires.**

**I'm sure some people who want no misery would be more than happy to let us kill them.**

**Then everyone would be happy!**

**Is that such a bad thing?**

**Anyway...**

**I talked to my ex-friend Carlisle.**

**Sniff. Sniff.**

**He doesn't call me his friend anymore.**

**I mean seriously, how was I supposed to know that child was safe?**

**For all I knew, she could end up with rabies from that shape-shifter!**

**Bringing me to the shape-shifter....**

**I tried to tell his pack to come join me in Volterra.**

**Then they started to attack me.**

**Luckily Caius was there to protect me!**

**But he wasn't in the mood for saving me.**

**So Marcus was there also.**

**But he just watched them chase me around.**

**They ripped cloak!**

**My beautiful cloak!**

**My lifelong friend that has always been with me through the years...**

**I'll never be the same with a new cloak.**

**Why must life be so cruel?**

**After that little scene Esme invited me back into their home.**

**It was awkward.**

**Emmett and Caius only glared at each other.**

**Alice and Edward tried to stay as far away from me as they could.**

**They apparently didn't realize my smart skills!**

**I managed to get them locked in a room so I could try to persuade them into joining me.**

**They refused.**

**WHY?**

**WHY MUST THEY REFUSE THIS GRAND AND GLORIOUS OFFER?  
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?**

**I mean...one day they will come to their senses.**

**But until that day, I shall let them live in harmony.**

**Until they screw up their vegetarianism and kill every human in the town.**

**That would be a true shame.**

**Do you understand me diary?**

**Good.**

**I love you.**

**Sincerely,**

**Aro Volturi**


	7. Entry Two: Caius Volturi

**Note: AGG! I was flipping through fanfics and I saw something else with the same title!**

**Why does this always happen to me? I didn't steal your idea I swear!  
**

**Disclaimer: I have to tell you the truth...I am actually Stephenie Meyer undercover as a teenager writing a fanfic about the Volturi. *GASP***

**Caius: If you were stupid enough to believe that, then you aren't good enough to read my diary.**

**No one is good enough to read my diary! You humans are just a bunch of pests! **

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Two: Caius Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**It has been a long week. First Aro makes everyone eat cake and then we had to go visit the Cullens.**

**I wonder if he's on drugs sometimes.**

**He does the weirdest things.......really weird things.**

**You don't even want to know what he does.**

**Once he pranced around in a tutu.**

**A **_**tutu**_**!**

**HE'S A FREAKING VAMPIRE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!**

**Sigh.**

**Maybe I should slip some sleeping pills in his blood....**

**I wonder if those would work....**

**I'm going to go try that now..**

**The Dead Vampire,**

**Caius Volturi**


	8. Entry Two: Marcus Volturi

**Disclaimer: Insert your own words here**

**Note: Insert your own not here also**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Two: Marcus Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**I live the with most idiotic vampires on the planet.**

**No one can possible live with these two.**

**You know who I'm talking about.**

**Again,**

**I must say no more.**

**Your only friend,**

**Marcus Volturi**


	9. Entry Two: Jane Volturi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, blah blah blah....**

**Note: I'm glad people read this, it makes me realize that I'm not the only one obsessed with the Volturi**

**Jane: Yeah, yeah, you are ruining the story**

**Me: Why so you have to be so mean?**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Two: Jane Volturi**

**Dear Diary Number 873,**

**The curse, it had reached Alec too.**

**The curse of the stupid vampirism.**

**It was another normal day, the way I like it.**

**I had just finished off some humans so I was in a satisfied mood.**

**That's when Alec went up to me.**

**He said he had a surprise for me in my room.**

**So I, being the clueless sister, went up to my room to see what it was.**

**Then he locked me in my room.**

_**My**_** room!**

**So I turned around to go sit on my bed.**

**That's when I saw that thing...**

**the pink laced dress with flower patterns covering it.**

**I gasped in horror.**

**Oh, you should've seen the ugly thing.**

**Alec refused to let me out of my room until I put it on.**

**After several hours I gave up.**

**I slipped the hideous piece of fabric on.**

**He let me out of the room on one condition:**

**I must spend the rest of the day wearing it.**

**So I did.**

**Let me just tell you it was the worst day of my life.**

**My long, long, never ending life.**

**I drug myself out of my room and tried to avoid the others.**

**I have horrible luck.**

**Aro came prancing around the corner and shouted, "What I wonderful dress my dear Jane!"**

**Then I screamed and ran away.**

**Unfortunatley I ran into Caius.**

**He proceeded to torment me for the rest of the day.**

**Marcus was the only safe one around.**

**I will have revenge.**

**REVENGE I TELL YOU!**

**The twin,**

**Jane Volturi**


	10. Entry Two: Alec Volturi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight...that was I lie, it's on my self right now. **

**I glued sparkles all over Edward's face last year in art class. I own New Moon too. And Eclipse. **

**Someone stole my Breaking Dawn though :(**

**Alec: Oh that is terrible...just terrible. I wonder what kind of person would steal a book.**

***muahahahaha***

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Two: Alec Volturi**

**Dear Diary, **

**Today is Christmas Eve.**

**Yes, you are probably wondering what I did today.**

**Well, unfortunately, this Christmas was the same as ever.**

**I had killed several humans....but I neatly dumped their remains safely into the harbor,**

**it was Christmas and I thought it would be better than burning them;**

**at least then someone could find their bodies and contact their families.**

**We all gathered around our Christmas Tree.**

**Aro insisted that he was to hand out the presents first.**

**I received a neatly knit sweater with the letter 'A' on it.**

**Jane received the same.**

**The exact same.**

**When she asked why her's did not have a 'J', Aro wouldn't answer her.**

**I think he has forgotten how to spell.**

**The banner he made had said 'Merry Chrismas'**

**When asked about that, he replied that Chris needed a holiday of his own.**

**When I asked who Chris was, he said it was his cousin.**

**His long dead cousin.**

**Caius never gave anyone presents.**

**He said Christmas was a waste of a day.**

**Marcus gave me a new black cape.**

**Felix have me an empty box, he said it was the last air supply of our world.**

**Demetri gave everyone identical snow globes.**

**Jane gave me a hug.**

**I get those everyday.**

**Then we all drank some "wine".**

**Then Aro passed out.**

**Caius apparently had added some sleeping pills.**

**That was an interesting 20 minutes of quiet time.**

**When he had awoken he was missing an arm.**

**I kind of pity him...he is still looking for his arm.**

**I'm not sure where Caius hid it.........**

**Oh well.**

**Who needs two arms anyway? **

**The Other Twin,**

**Alec Volturi**


	11. Entry Three: Aro Volturi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Note: I promised myself I would never just suddenly stop writing a fanfic.**

**But I kinda skipped an entire month...eh, sorry.**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Three: Aro Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**You will never believe what horror I went through this Christmas.**

**(Tee hee hee, I spelled it right this time...**

**Alec...so young and naive to believe in Chrismas!)**

**Like every holiday, I drank some gloriously good tasting wine.**

**However, when I lifted the glass to my lips and drank I tasted something else.**

**Hmmm...?**

**What you may ask?**

**I wasn't quite sure because I don't drink human liquids.**

**Wait-nevermind, yes, I do drink human liquids.**

**But there was something else mixed in with the blo-oh, I mean **_**wine**_**.**

**Yes...normal wine.**

**The kind people drink at formal parties.**

**Well as I drank I felt an odd feeling.**

**Then everything went black.**

**I couldn't remember what happened.**

**But when I woke up I was missing an arm.**

**Do you know what it is like to be missing an arm?**

**It's like a big part of you is missing.**

**It's a horrible and empty feeling.**

**I went to go find Caius and Marcus to ask them about it.**

**Caius told me he had no idea what I was talking about.**

**Marcus just continued to stare at me oddly.**

**I then pranced over to Jane and Alec.**

**(Jane was wearing the lovely 'A' sweater I made her!)**

**Alec looked at my arm and shrugged.**

**Jane told me it was a good thing and it made me a 'holey' vampire.**

**So I tried going on without an arm.**

**Unfortunately even a vampire needs to arms to survive.**

**I couldn't even make some coffee for Heidi.**

**And I had devour a victim with only one arm.**

**And I had to call Carlisle with only one arm.**

**And I had to take a bath with only one arm.**

**Oh, how I miss my other arm.**

**Arm, oh arm.**

**How I loved your length.**

**I loved your pale papery skin.**

**I loved the help it brought to me.**

**Oh, arm oh arm.**

**Where have thou gone to?**

**Has it been burned to a crisp?**

**I loved you arm.**

**Sigh.**

**I will never be the same.**

**I must search for my missing arm!**

**Onwards towards two arms again!**

**I shall find you my little arm!**

**Goodbye my fellow diary.**

**I will see you again once I find my arm, **

**for it is truly hard to write with one hand.**

**Sincerely,**

**Aro Volturi**


	12. Entry Three: Caius Volturi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Three: Caius Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**When one rips off his own "brother's" arm, where would one hide it?**

**This is a question I had come across once.**

**As I was standing their in the dark corridor with Aro's arm in my hands,**

**I realized that I must hide this in the most obvious place.**

**Why the most obvious place?**

**Because Aro's brain is not capable of comprehending this.**

**He will go to the extremes to find his beloved arm.**

**So I must hide it in the one place he wouldn't look.**

**So I took a little trip to forks.**

**Note to self: Don't get hungry when on a plane full of humans.**

**Once in Forks, I went to visit the Cullens.**

**Unfortunately, after our previous visits with the cullens...**

**there was an issue.**

**However, I managed to convince Jacob Black into taking Aro's arm.**

**I don't think he appreciated it when I told him to dig a hole and bury it.**

**I know for a fact that Aro won't go looking in Black's back yard.**

**Hello Mr. One Armed Vampire.**

**The Dead Vampire,**

**Caius Volturi**


	13. Entry Three: Marcus Volturi

**Disclaimer: Ich bin nicht eigenen Twilight.**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Three: Marcus Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**Every day seems to grow longer here in our doomy castle of doom.**

**Doomy castle of doom?**

**Oh God, I have been spending too much time with Aro again.**

**I must consult with Caius about shipping him off to Thailand again.**

**Farewell.**

**Your Only Friend,**

**Marcus Volturi**


	14. Entry Three: Jane Volturi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight...**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Three: Jane Volturi**

**Dear Diary Number 874,**

**I am sorry to say that I had destroyed my precious journal...for Heidi's hands had touched it. Therefore, her vulgar germs have ruined it.**

**I went through hell to get this diary.**

**First, I had to sneak out of the castle.**

**I went to several stores before they kicked me out and told me I was to old to be trick or treating. **

**Then, when I go to the store who doesn't believe I'm a kid in a costume, the employee was a total IDIOT! **

**I tell him I would like a dark embrioded journal and he says, "ooh, so you can write your little secrets and dreams with little doodles!"**

**WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?**

**HOW DARE HE COMPARE ME TO ONE OF THOSE...**_**HUMAN GIRLS**_**!**

**When I finally bashed his head open and stole the book I had to go to all the trouble and steal the footage from the store cameras and earase any evidence...**

**What a waste of time.**

**By the time I have gotten back to out "happy little home of horrors", Aro had came up with a plan to find his missing arm.**

**Maybe Caius should just give the arm back so he'd shut up.**

**Oh, the countless number of times I have to sigh in the eternal life of pain and gore.**

**No one understands.**

**The twin,**

**Jane Volturi**


	15. Entry Three: Alec Volturi

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own this. A disclaimer is kind of pointless.**

**The Volturi Diaries**

**Entry Three: Alec Volturi**

**Dear Diary,**

**I suffered excruciating pain today. **

**I am sad to say that summer has approached. And with summer, tourists approach the great city of Volterra.**

**Little girls shop with their mothers, begging for toys that they'll never use next week.**

**Little boys run around by themselves. Because their fathers are too busy flirting with a young, foreign woman.**

**Oh, what a crucial holiday break this has become.**

**The sun seems to shine forever. The days are longer. And everyone is happier. **

**And I am stuck inside this thing some people call a castle because I don't want to sparkle in front of strangers.**

**Oh cruel fate.**

**The other twin,**

**Alec Volturi**


End file.
